Husband-Wife SMS
*Wife ko yaqeen tha ki pati aur Naukrani me sex Relation hai.
Dono ko 1 sath pakdne k liye plan bnaya
or Naukrani ko chupke se chutti pe bhej diya.
Raat ko pati ne pet Dard ka Bahana kiya or toilet gaya &
wife Naukrani k Bed Pe ja k so gayi or Light off kar di
wo silently Room me aye or sex krne laga
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Sex k baad wife boli – Tum Mujhe Yaha dekh k SHOCKED hoge
or light on kar di
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watchman Bola – Madam Aap ?!!!
Moral- zyada smart bnne wala aese hi ch*d jaate hai
* Pareshan biwi, ek raat uthkar..
JAN GAN MAN gane lagi.
Pati- Ye kya kar rahi ho?
Biwi- Ek aakhri kar rahi hoon,
iss par to pura Bharat khada ho jata hai.!
*
Ekdum latest:
If you steal another Woman’s Husband, it is Rude
But
if you steal her Maid…
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it is UNFORGIVABLE
* Suhagaraat ko PATI apni PATNI se
SEX karte hue puchhata hai..
Kya mahsoos kar rahi ho, Jaaneman?
PATNI: Kya bataaun Dear!!!
Yahi ki aaj tak main TOP-UP me hi
apna kaam chala rahi thi,
aaj se life-Time karva liya hai.
* Biwi ko din me karoge to wo sust rahegi,
Sham ko karoge to chust rahegi
Roj karoge to tandurast rahegi,
Karte rahoge to khush rahegi,
‘Office se Roj Sirf 1 Call’
*
Monday Night:
Wife: Aaj tum daaru peeke aaye ho! Kyun?
Husband : Arre Aaj office mai foreign clients k saath meeting thi to peeni padi.
Tuesday Night:
Wife: Aaj tum fir daaru peeke aaye ho! Kyun?
Husband : Arre Aaj mere ek friend ki engagement thi to Usne party di isliye.
Wednesday Night:
Wife: Aaj bhi tum pee ke aaye..
Husband: Arre Aaj ek friend ka breakup ho gaya.. WO bahut udaas tha to Uska mood fresh karne ke liye.
Thursday Night:
Wife: Aaj fir se.. Ab kiska breakup ho gaya?
Husband: Breakup nahi.. Aaj Office mai work load tha.. bahut tension thi.. isliye
Friday Night:
Wife: Aaj kyun?
Husband : Arre jis friend ki engagement thi na Tuesday ko, Aaj uski shaadi thi..to khushi ke mauke pe to.. samajh gayi na.
Saturday Night:
Wife: hmmm.. Ab?
Husband : Aaj purane school friends mil gaye the to WO disco le gaye aur zabardasti pila di.. maine bahut mana bhi kiya par maane nahi.
Sunday Night:
Wife (gusse se): Ab Aaj kya ho gaya..?
Husband : AADMI EK DIN BHI APNI MARJI SE NAHI PI SAKTA HAI KYA..??
* Bangkok special..
1 baar 1 aadmi BANGKOK ja raha tha..
Uski wife ne.. naa chaahte huye bhi usse
jaane ki permission de di.
Jis din wo ghar se nikal raha tha..
jaate jaate usko wife ne bulaaya aur 12
condoms ka packet dekar boli..
Isse rakh lo mann ho gaya to.
Aadmi khush ho jata hai aur sochta hai..
‘waah kya biwi mili hai..’
Achaanak uski wife awaaz de kar usko fir
bulati hai aur kehti hai:
‘Ruko, usme se 2 mujhe de do.. kahi mera mann ho gaya to..’
BC Trip Cancelled..
* Wife drinking WHISKEY,
Asked: Tum kaun ho?
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Husband: Pagal ho gayi ho kya?
Apne husband ko bhool gayi?
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Wife: Nasha har gum bhula deta hai.. Bhaisaab..!!
*
Ek Sali apne Jija ke sath train me ja rahi thi.
Raat ko wo kafi der tak Jija ko apne Kisse sunati rahi,
Ke, Achanak Jija ne puchha:
Kya khayal hai aaj raat hum dono miyan biwi ki tarah guzaaren.
Sali sharmate hue boli:
Ji, jaise aap ki marzi.
Jija: To chalo phir apni..
bak bak band karo aur mujhe sone do.
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Na dosto Na.
Gande msg or mere number se?
Impossible…
*
Bahut puraani baat hai..
Ek african apni family ke sath jungle me hi rahta tha..
usane kabhi mirror nahi dekha tha..
1 din jungle me use shisha mila.
Usme khud ko dekh kar smjha ke uske baap ki tasvir hai,
aur wo use apne ghar le gaya aur roz bate karne laga.
Uski biwi ko shak hua,
1 din jab uska pati bahar gaya hua tha to usne shisha bahar nikala
aur apni shakl dekh ke boli :
Accha.. To ye hai wo Kal-muhi jis se mera pati baaten karta hai.
Usne sheesha apni saas ko dikhaya,
To Saas boli: Chinta mat kar, Shukar mana..
buddhi hai, jaldi hi mar jayegi.
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