Politics funny sms ----- हिन्दी चुटकुले

Politics SMS in hindi



* Kya Vidambana hai hamare desh ki
Phoolan Devi Daku ho ker chunao jeet gai thi
aur
Kiran Bedi Police Wali ho ker bhi Chunao haar gai
MERA BHARAT MAHAN


* Reporter: Delhi elections ka kya kahenge?
BJP: AAP will lose.
AAP: Definitely we will win.
Congress: Yaar ye Pakode kyu ni aaye abhi tak ?


* Petrol ke bhav 13 rupya kam karke saal 2010 main jitne the utne ho gaye hai….
Modi desh ko ageh nahi piche le ja raha hai –
RAHUL GANDHI


* Dear Modi Ji..
Plz sab se pehle mobile internet pack 1 saal ke liye free kardo.
Apka bahut prachar kiya hai..


* Rashtrapati bhawan mein party shuru hui..
Waiter: sir, kya loge?
Advani: Leni to Shapath thi…..
par chalo tum Jal-Jeera hi de do.


* Modi ji sirf acche din denge..
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.
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Acchi rato ka intezam khud karna hoga!


* Ek lesson us galti se jo kejriwal ne ki aur modi ne nahi,
kabhi bhi jab tak agli job na mile,
current job se resign nahi karna chahiye!


* GF: Jaanu aaj milte hain ..
BF: Kahan milna hai?
GF: Koi sunsaan jagah jahan koi na ho ..
BF: Theek hai, ek ghante me congress office me milte hain!


* Modi to Nittish: How many seats you got?
Nitish: 2 seats.
Modi: I also got 2 seats. One from vadodara and one from varanasi. What are you going to do next?
Nitish: Resign as CM of my state.
Modi: Me too. Lol.
Nitish: phone rakh tu sa*le.


* Abhi parents ko sochna padega ki..
baccheko chai ki dukan pe bhejke modi banana hai ya..
IIT me bhejke kejriwal.


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Munna bhai style sms in hindi

Munna bhai style sms in hindi



* CIRCUIT : Aye Mamu, tereko papad aur jhapad mein pharak pata hai kya?
MAMU : Nehin.
CIRCUIT : To kha ke dekh Le, pata chal jayega.


* CIRCUIT- Bhai, who apnay bachpan ka dost aarehla
aaj raat ko dinner pe. Mera Sara chain collection apnay
kamray mein chupa do na please.

MUNNABHAI- Kyun tera dost chor hai kya?
CIRCUIT- Nahin Bhai, who apnay chain pechan lega.


* MUNNA BHAI- Chand toh raat ko nikalta hai,
aaj din mein kaise nikal aya?
GIRL- Ullu to raat ko bolta hai,
aaj din mein kaise bol pada?


* CIRCUIT- Bhai, Bapu NE bola tha ke kabhi jhoot nehin bolna mangta hai.
Apun aaj se kabhi jhoot nehin bolega Bhai.
MUNNA BHAI- Aye Circuit, who Sunita ka baap aya hai terayko dund rehla hai.

CIRCUIT- Bhai usko bolo apun gaon gaya hai, kheti karneko.
MUNNA BHAI- Par Circuit, abhi to TU bola kabhi jhoot nehin bolega.

CIRCUIT- Bhai, apun jhoot nehin bolega, par tum to bol sakta hai na.


* MUNNA BHAI : Oye Short Circuit yeh light
bulb pe baap ka naam kya likh raha hai?
CIRCUIT : Apun baap ka naam roshan kar rehle hai.


* Munna Bhai: Aay circuit, baapu bole to
gandhi ji kapde kyu nahi pehantay thay?

Circuit: Bhai bole toh bapu bhi us
time ke salmaan khan thay!!!


* After finishing MBBS… Dr Munna Bhai starts his practice.
He checked his FIRST patient’s eyes,
tongue & ears by TORCH & finally what did he say?
“Battery is OK”


* PRINCIPAL: Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein
gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine,
2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.
MUNNA BHAI: Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu


* PROFESSOR: Akal badi ki bhais?
MUNNA BHAI: Bole toh pehlay date of birth bata mamu.


* MUNNA BHAI: Circuit, bole toh yeh Ford kya hai?
CIRCUIT: Bhai, gaadi hai.

MUNNA BHAI: Toh phir, yeh Oxford kya hai?
CIRCUIT: Bole toh, simple hai bhai, Ox mane Bail,
Ford mane gaadi. Oxford bole toh Baelgaadi.



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Politics very funny sms jokes हिन्दी चुटकुले

Politics very funny sms jokes




* Manmohan ne phone kar ke Narendra Modi ko mubarakbaad di..
Modi ji ne kha: Bas kar pagle rulayega kya.
Itne saalo me aaj teri aavaj suni hai.


* Rahul Gandhi has started preparation for 2019
and slogan is:
‘Tufaan ke baad boonda-bandi, abki baar Rahul Gandhi’


* Ram ne Ravan ko maara (R=R)
Krishna ne Kansa ko (K=K)
Godse ne Gandhi ko (G=G)
Obama ne Osama ko (O=O)
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Corruption maarega Congress ko (C= C)


* Warning:
Agar aap mujhe bhule to upar wala aapko
lalu ki akal,
mayawati ki shakl,
mulayam ki jawani,
kalaam ke baal aur
atal ki chal de..
Ab bhula k dekho.


* Teacher: Wo kaunsi raat hai jo agar na hoti to aaj hindustan khush haal hota.?
.
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Student: Sir sharad pawar ki maa ki suhagraat.


* Obama: Tujhe swiming aati hai.
Lalu: Na
Obama: Tere se to kutta acha hai jo swim kar leta hai.
Lalu: Tumko aata hai
Obama: Yes
Lalu: Sasura fir tohre mein aur Kutta mein farak ka hai.


* Now Rekha also has been nominated to Rajya Sabha
Means it makes a full Nirma detergent
team :
Hema, Rekha, Jaya aur Sushma.
Sabki pasand nirma.


* Dear Deepika..
U went to Yuvraj, his form dropped.
U went to Ranbir, his movie flopped.
U went to Mallyas, their airline stopped.
Plz join Congress.. & Save India.


* *Today’s Truth*
Apne INDIA ka kuch nahi ho sakta..
Yaaro
Kyun ki yaha..
Budhhe DESH chala rahe hai..
aur
Jawan Facebook!!


* Santa Newspaper padh raha tha.
Banta: Koi Nayi khabar hai kya?
Santa: Ye kya U.P. ko 4 hisso mein kar diya jayega.
Banta: Jis Ghar mein Aurat ki chlti hai yahi hota hai.


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Politics SMS funny jokes --- हिन्दी मैसेज

Politics sms in hindi 

* Ek Aadmi ne Fish pakdi 

ghar aaya to dekha 

Na Gas 

Na Aata 

Na Bijli 

Na Oil 

admi vapas Fish ko nadi me fek aaya. 

Fish chillai Congress PARTI zindabad zindabad..! 

* Teacher: Ye koun sa TENSE hai? 

India mein Corruption khatam ho Jayega..!! 

Student: Future IMPOSSIBLE Tense..!! 

* Gazal By Indian AAM AADMI 

Yeh Anna hazare be le lo 

Yeh Lokpall be le lo 

Bhale cheen lo Hum se Bipasha Basu

Magar Hum Ko Lauta do 

Woh Kimti Purani 

Woh Atta 

Woh Gas 

Woh Bijli 

Woh Pani 

Badi Meharbaani…! 

Badi Meharbaani…! 

* Lalu to Rabri:

Agar tum batao ki iss bag ke andar kya hai,

toh sare eggs tumare, agar tum batao kitne eggs toh 8 ke 8 tumare,

aur agar tum bata do ke ande kiske hai toh woh murgi bhi tumari.

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Rabri: Lalu Ji, koi hint toh do na plz? 

*

Do u know that in

1982 in Singapore Janlok pal bill

was passed and 142 politician’s were arrested

.

.

.

Tabhi to Congress ki fatt rahi hai!!

*

Ek aurat ne anna hazare se pucha..

Baapu aap roj roj anshan per kyun baith jate ho..??

.

.

.

Anna hazare:- Kya karu o ladies..

Main hu aadat se majboor.. Ha Ha

*

Sonia ji 1 school visit karne gayi 1 class mein a kar boli bachcho koi sawal puchna hai to pucho.

Pappu bola mere 3 sawal hai:

1) Aap khud prime minister Q nahi bani

2) Ramleela maidan me police kisne bheji

3) Apka kitna paisa Swiss bank mein hai.

Isse pehle ki Sonia ji jawab deti half time ke bell ho gayi.

After half time

Bablu khadha hokar bola Mam mere 5 sawal hai..

3 to Pappu wale hai

4) Half time ki bell 20min phle kaise baji?

aur akhiri sawal?

Q5) Pappu kaha hai?

* 1 gaon me Rahul Gandhi ko 1 bache ne kaha: 

Sirji 14 mahino se yaha school me teacher nahi he. 

Rahul- To school kaise chal raha he? 

Bacha- Jaise desh chal raha hai! 

* Sarkar: Maji satakali re 

Anna: Kyo sarkar 

Sarkar: mere 100cr vote kamm ho gaye na.. 

Anna: Meri jarurate he kam isliye mujme he dum 

I’m Anna Hazare 

* Politics is the art of looking for trouble, 

finding it whether it exists or not, 

diagnosing it incorrectly, 

and applying the wrong remedy.

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Husband wife SMS Hindi sms

Husband wife sms in hindi

Husband-Wife SMS

* Dukh hamesha saath rehta hai, 

magar khushi aati-jati rehti hai. 

Please explain in English 

Santa: My wife is with me, 

but her sister visits occasionally. 

* Die Laughing 

Biwi Bathroom Se Naha Ke Nikli To Uska Pati Use Ghur Raha Tha! 

Biwi Romantic Hokar Boli: Kya Irada Hai? 

Pati Ne 2 Thappad Maare Or Bola.. 

‘Mere Garam Pani Se Kyu Nahayi’ 

Happy winters.. 

*

How various wifes fight with their respective husbands:

Pilot’s wife:

Zyada udo mat

Teacher’s wife:

Mujhe mat sikhaao

Painter’s wife:

Thobda rang dungi

Dhobi’s wife:

Dho dungi

Actor’s wife:

Naatak mat karo

Dentist’s wife:

Daat tod dungi

CA’s wife:

Hisaab se raho

Engineer’s wife:

Sab parts dhile kar dungi

Architect’s wife:

Sidhe raho nahi to face ki design change kar dungi

& the Best one

Marketing person’s wife:

Zyada bologe to OLX pe bech dungi.

* Wife: Meri sharafat dekho.. 

Maine tumhe dekhe bagair shaadi karli… 

Husband: Aur meri sharafat dekho.. 

Maine dekh kar bhi inkaar nahi kiya.. 

* Suhaag Raat me Wife : 

Muje Gabhrahat ho rahi Hai.. 

Husband : Tumhari PehLi Raat hai na IsLiye ? 

Wife : Nahi Ji Raat me Pehli Baar hai IsLiye. 

* Hubby: Aaj Sabji mein Namak thoda zyada lag raha hai..!!! 

Wife: Namak barabar hai..!! 

Sabji thodi kam thi..!! 

Wife is always right. 

* Husband: Dekho Main Chahe Jaisa Bhi Hoon, 

Par Baccha Ek Dum Sunder Hona Chahiye. 

Wife: Dekho Ji, Choice Is Yours, Baccha Yaa 

Toh Sunder Hoga Yaa Aap Ka Hoga. 

*

Height of being daring..

Biwi to pati:

main kaisi lag rahi hu aaj??

Abhi abhi beauty parlour se aayi hoon..

.

.

Pati: Bandh tha kya ??

* Ek bar Ek husband ko uski wife ne pucha ke..

Main agar 4-5 din na dikhu to aapko accha lagega?

Husband ekdum se man hi man me khush hone laga.

Aur us se raha nahi gaya aur aur bol diya..

Haan accha lagega

Fir to wife,

Monday na dikhi,

Tuesday na dikhi,

Wednesday na dikhi,

Thursday ko bhi na dikhi,

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Finally..

Friday ko jab aankho ki SUJAN

kam hui fir thodi thodi dikhi. 

* Husband: jab main tumhe maarta hu tab tum Apna 

gussa kispe nikaalti ho? 

Wife: toilet saaf kar ke . 

Husband: (haste hue) Pagal aurat.. wo kese? 

Wife: toilet aap ke toothbrush se saaf karti hu.

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